| GARBLE GARBLE |
[Jul. 5th, 2009|07:01 pm] |
I'm writing this from the Flying J on the Grapevine on the way back from AX 2009 (which I'll post about later). Flying J is, in case you don't know, the truckerest truck stop. We're talking a giant empty lot out in the back for resting, weigh stations, a billion gallons of diesel available, and CB radios being sold in the convenience store.
But this is about a piece of turkey. The most manly piece of turkey that just happens to be at the most manly establishment.
I regret to inform you that I did not have the prescience to take a photograph of this specimen, but I assure you it was no fewer than two pounds of pure dark meat. This was a pornographic amount of meat. It could have been used as a club. If you shot the bird that previously owned it with an anti-tank rifle, the round would get crushed without actually penetrating the skin. It was so intense that I kept my sunglasses on as I ate it as I was afraid of what might happen were it to look me in the eyes.
I just thought y'all would like to know. |
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| FO' TWENNY SMOEK DEADLY QUESADILLAS EVERY DAY |
[Jun. 21st, 2009|04:20 am] |
Remember those ancient tortillas? I just ate enough quesadillas to more than accurately determine whether or not they're going to kill me, so if I never post again, just know that I had a very delicious and very cheesy death. |
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| Gaijin get out |
[Jun. 18th, 2009|05:59 am] |
Every time I find another Japanese site that blocks US IPs or simply all foreign IPs, I'm briefly rendered speechless, regardless of how many times I've experienced it. Yeah, buddy, surely I'm not just going to go bounce through an open Japanese proxy. Go fuck yourself. What a bunch of immature bullshit.
You'd think that the doujin guys who do this would want more people to play their games or enjoy their art, but apparently being a petty douchebag takes priority. At least a blocked IP is a hell of a lot easier to get around than when they make some fucking riddle where the right answer will be the address of the page you're trying to access. |
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| Preservatives are delicious |
[Jun. 15th, 2009|03:55 am] |
Everything in my fridge is always fresh, but there's been one exception which has turned into a science experiment of sorts.
See, I bought a bag of tortillas with the assumption that I would use them for yummy quesadillas. I think I did this twice, and then did not feel like quesadillas for a while.
Like, for about a year and three months.
The tortillas are still there.
I have intentionally kept them there for my own amusement. You see, they have not grown a single spore of mold or otherwise become unappealing in any particular manner other than that they are a little tougher--really, only a little--than when they were originally purchased.
Now for some audience participation: Should I eat one? For science? |
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| ThinkPad, more like ChinkPad |
[Jun. 4th, 2009|02:21 pm] |
Here is just a small sampling of the problems I have experienced with the T61 that work has provided me:- Refusing to wake up from suspend
- Randomly coming out of suspend/hibernate of its own accord
- Clicking the right mouse button by itself
- Horrendous battery life (about 1h30m)
I particularly like the first one. This isn't even on some hippie operating system; it's fucking Windows. I had a Dell laptop nine years ago that was more reliable in every respect than this piece of shit.
I'm actually considering buying an MBP for myself. This is ridiculous. |
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| Reporting bugs to Apple: still a complete waste of time |
[May. 2nd, 2009|11:21 pm] |
23-Nov-2008 09:17 AM Mark Laws:
Summary:
No sound is heard if you plug something into the line out jack on the back of the Mac Pro under Windows. The headphone jack works fine.
Steps to Reproduce:
Plug speakers into the line out jack (notice that the tray icon doesn't pop up a notification saying you plugged something in as it does with the headphone jack). Do stuff that would make noises.
Expected Results:
Hearing something.
Actual Results:
Hearing nothing.
Notes:
This problem does not occur under OS X.
'C__Documents and Settings_mdl_Desktop_systeminfo.txt' was successfully uploaded
02-May-2009 11:16 PM Mark Laws:
Wow--closing a bug without even a comment. Apple's lack of bug reporting transparency reaches new lows.
They closed it at some point in between--and this time it's not even the "dupe of ticket x (but not giving you access to the original)" garbage.
Fortunately, I don't care anymore, since I have an audio interface that isn't a goddamn piece of shit (thanks ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) protocat for the suggestion--I needed a replacement for my Mbox anyway). |
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| RHEL has nothing on AIX |
[Apr. 13th, 2009|08:26 pm] |
AIX is the worst fucking pile of god-forsaken shit I have ever used in my entire life.
I wasted an entire day trying to make JFS2 not perform like it was a 386 running XENIX with an ESDI hard drive. I was able to improve it by two orders of magnitude, by which I mean it was still slower than a diamond-hard thirty foot shit coming out of an ant's asshole. The last thing left to try was to put the journal on a separate hard disk. I attempted to do this. The machine would not come back after I rebooted it. I have since wasted another half a day trying to figure out how the fuck to fix /etc/filesystems (because AIX is too cool for "fstab" or even "vfstab") to point to the old jfs2log device. Why? BECAUSE THE FUCKING AIX INSTALL MEDIA DOESN'T GIVE YOU VI. IT DOESN'T EVEN GIVE YOU ED. IT DOESN'T EVEN GIVE YOU CAT OR LS.
I am ready to go into the machine room and just fucking kick the machine over and over and then call the one customer that uses this horrid operating system and tell them to eat a bag of dicks. My life is way, way, way too short for this and I just want to fucking go home so I can do absolutely nothing. |
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| Why I'm not so hot on The Smashing Pumpkins anymore |
[Apr. 9th, 2009|05:49 pm] |
I figure this is somewhat timely, what with Chamberlin having quit the band recently.
Corgan recently said in an onstage rant, "Last I checked we were in an alternative band. 'Alternative' means 'different than what everyone else is doing,' including those reunion bands that go out and just play the old songs." Here's the problem, duder: you're not alternative anymore; you're derivative, and have been ever since Machina.
What made SP a great band was the fact that they had an incomparable sound--that blend of shoegazing, psychedelic rock, heavy metal, dream pop...I can't think of anything similar. Machina threw all that away. It sounded like an album by any number of interchangeable bands, and the only thing that made it identifiable as a Smashing Pumpkins record was Corgan's voice. What happened to the duality that all the previous albums had? The Smashing Pumpkins were all about rocking your face off and following it with something chill or slow or swirly. Machina has some more mellow songs near the end, but they're just not the same; they just sound less angry and less guitar-shredding than the earlier songs on the album. The Everlasting Gaze, Stand Inside Your Love, and Age of Innocence are good, but they still don't sound like Smashing Pumpkins songs.
I don't have a problem with bands not doing the same thing forever. I liked Adore. I don't personally know even one other person that likes Adore, which I think is strange because it's not massively different from the previous albums--sure, the sound is predominantly electronic, but the overall feel hadn't really changed, and there had been previous use of electronic stuff (1979, live shows).
And if you couldn't guess, I don't care for Zeitgeist.
It's just sort of disappointing, I guess. Nearly all the 90s bands I really loved are all dead or simply boring to me now, and modern rock bands are just...let's not even go there. I can't even think of any Western rock I've listened to in the past few years other than a handful of stuff from bands that already existed before this millennium. |
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| Some people have no sense of humor |
[Apr. 8th, 2009|03:10 am] |
While I was talking with a friend I made a joke referencing fan death, which led me to go check the Wikipedia page for it, which led to me checking the page for urban legends, which led to me checking the page for the crappy movie, which led to me checking the page for horror movies, which led to Attack of the Killer Tomatoes. Wikipedia chaining is fun--it reminds me of the first day I ever used the web, where I just read and read pages on countless tangentially related topics. But that's not what I'm here to talk about; I'm here to talk about Attack of the Killer Tomatoes.
It seems that nearly everyone who watches it doesn't get it. It's supposed to be absurd. It's supposed to have the appearance of being painfully low-budget (and it is, itself!). It's supposed to have terrible acting and terrible production quality. I have a scale that I refer to as -1/-2/-3. -1 is bad. -2 is so bad it's good. -3 is so bad that it overflows and wraps back around to being bad. Attack of the Killer Tomatoes is an intentional -2, so on a "four stars" scale it's a two or three.
Basically, if you cannot find Attack of the Killer Tomatoes funny, your funnymatic is busted and you should contact a local repair center for warranty service. I suspect that the problem is that humanity is full of people like these:
An example is there is supposed to be a black agent who is a master of disguise. He emerges from a car dressed in the uniform of an American Army officer with a small moustache. Later, the crazed paratrooper who joins the force looks at the guy and screams, "Oh my God, it's Adolf Hitler!!" So why didn't DeBello understand his master of disguise should be in a Nazi uniform? Because you're a fucking mouth-breathing simian and apparently don't realize that the joke is in the fact that not only is he black Hitler, he's also wearing the wrong fucking uniform?
The same night that I watched this I also watched "Scary Movie 4," making for one messed up double feature. Unfortunately for these killer tomatoes they could not stand up to the laugh riot that is the Scary Movie franchise. This comment speaks for itself.
I don't know where Attack of the Killer Tomatoes lives in comparison to, say, Airplane, The Naked Gun, Hot Shots, Shaun of the Dead, Hot Fuzz, Spaceballs, UHF, etc., but if people that think Scary Movie is great hate it, then it can't be all that bad. |
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| Red Hat is worse than pedophiles |
[Apr. 7th, 2009|03:00 pm] |
RPM version 4.4.2
Copyright (C) 1998-2002 - Red Hat, Inc.
This program may be freely redistributed under the terms of the GNU GPL
Usage: rpm [-aKfgpWHqV] [-aKfgpWHqVcdils] [-aKfgpWHqVcdilsaKfgpWHqV] [-aKfgpWHqVcdilsaKfgpWHqV] [-aKfgpWHqVcdilsaKfgpWHqV] [-aKfgpWHqVcdilsaKfgpWHqVK] [-aKfgpWHqVcdilsaKfgpWHqVK] [-aKfgpWHqVcdilsaKfgpWHqVKi] [-aKfgpWHqVcdilsaKfgpWHqVKiv] [-aKfgpWHqVcdilsaKfgpWHqVKiv] [-aKfgpWHqVcdilsaKfgpWHqVKiv?] [-a|--all] [-f|--file] [-g|--group]
[-p|--package] [-W|--ftswalk] [--pkgid] [--hdrid] [--fileid]
[--specfile] [--triggeredby] [--whatrequires] [--whatprovides]
[--nomanifest] [-c|--configfiles] [-d|--docfiles] [--dump] [-l|--list]
[--queryformat=QUERYFORMAT] [-s|--state] [--nomd5] [--nofiles]
[--nodeps] [--noscript] [--comfollow] [--logical] [--nochdir]
[--nostat] [--physical] [--seedot] [--xdev] [--whiteout]
[--addsign] [-K|--checksig] [--delsign] [--import] [--resign]
[--nodigest] [--nosignature] [--initdb] [--rebuilddb] [--aid]
[--allfiles] [--allmatches] [--badreloc] [-e|--erase <package>+]
[--excludedocs] [--excludepath=<path>] [--fileconflicts] [--force]
[-F|--freshen <packagefile>+] [-h|--hash] [--ignorearch] [--ignoreos]
[--ignoresize] [-i|--install] [--justdb] [--nodeps] [--nomd5]
[--nocontexts] [--noorder] [--nosuggest] [--noscripts]
[--notriggers] [--oldpackage] [--percent] [--prefix=<dir>]
[--relocate=<old>=<new>] [--repackage] [--replacefiles]
[--replacepkgs] [--test] [-U|--upgrade <packagefile>+]
[-D|--define 'MACRO EXPR'] [-E|--eval 'EXPR'] [--macros=<FILE:...>]
[--nodigest] [--nosignature] [--rcfile=<FILE:...>] [-r|--root ROOT]
[--querytags] [--showrc] [--quiet] [-v|--verbose] [--version]
[-?|--help] [--usage] [--scripts] [--setperms] [--setugids]
[--conflicts] [--obsoletes] [--provides] [--requires] [--info]
[--changelog] [--xml] [--triggers] [--last] [--filesbypkg]
[--fileclass] [--filecolor] [--filecontext] [--fscontext]
[--recontext] [--fileprovide] [--filerequire] [--redhatprovides]
[--redhatrequires] [--buildpolicy=<policy>] [--with=<option>]
[--without=<option>]
YEAH!!!!! |
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| I hate Twitter. |
[Apr. 5th, 2009|01:47 am] |
From: Mark Laws
To: loudtwitter@gmail.com
Cc:
Bcc:
Subject: add autotag of "loudtwitter"
Reply-To:
Please change LoudTwitter to automatically and unconditionally add a tag
of "loudtwitter" in addition to user-supplied tags. This would make it
easy for people to see, for instance, actual blog posts saying that
Twitter is a stupid pile of shit we'd all be better off without while
still being able to filter out people's insufferable twatting
activities.
Sincerely,
Mark Laws
--
|v\ /\ |\ |< |_ /\ \^| // |
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| Bye bye, SGI |
[Apr. 1st, 2009|04:53 pm] |
From this, to this, to this in fifteen years--the writing was on the wall at least ten years ago, of course, but it's still sad.
I was thinking a few weeks ago that there was no way SGI would make it through These Troubled Economic Times(tm), at least on their own, and I guess I was right. I wonder what would've happened if they'd stayed focused on what they did well instead of being distracted by trying to chip away at Sun's market, the interactive TV boondoggle, ignoring the fact that PCs would surely catch up (as the minicomputer displaced the mainframe and the microcomputer displaced the minicomputer), etc. Maybe there wouldn't have been the departures that led to 3Dfx and ArtX (though the former was in 1994, when SGI was at the top of their game). If they hadn't banked on Itanic, would they have been able to have kept MIPS ahead of x86? Would they have been able to have stayed far enough ahead of PC graphics to justify systems that cost an order of magnitude more? It seems like they could have only delayed the inevitable unless they'd actually found success in another market. |
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| FREE Big Box w/Wheels |
[Mar. 30th, 2009|04:40 am] |
04:35 <@koitsu> http://sfbay.craigslist.org/eby/zip/1097961059.html
04:36 < mdl> BIG BOX WITH WHEELS
04:36 < mdl> that's the most advanced cardboard box i've ever seen
04:36 < mdl> solid snake should go pick it up
04:37 <@koitsu> haha
04:37 < mdl> imagine the ! on the enemies when they saw that shit
04:37 <@koitsu> "!" "A BOX WITH WHEELS!" |
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| gdb is a useless pile of shit |
[Mar. 28th, 2009|02:07 am] |
243 len = ((int)val % 4) + 8;
PLATFORM 1 (x86_64):
===
(gdb) p val
$1 = 3690076823
(gdb) p ((int) val % 4)
$2 = -1
(gdb) p ((int) val % 4) + 8
$3 = 7
(gdb) p len
$4 = 11
PLATFORM 2 (x86_64):
===
(gdb) p val
$1 = 3690076823
(gdb) p ((int)val % 4)
$2 = -1
(gdb) p ((int)val % 4) + 8
$3 = 7
(gdb) p len
$4 = 7 FUCK YOU. |
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